Worksheet for Managing Tantrums: Understanding, Responding, and Progress Tracking

Task 1: Recognizing the Feelings Behind the Tantrum

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Objective: Identify what your child is trying to communicate through their tantrum.

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1. Identify Triggers:

• Write down specific situations or triggers when tantrums most frequently occur

(e.g., right before bedtime, during transitions, when told “no”).

Example: Tantrum when told they can’t have a snack before dinner.

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2. Naming the Emotion:

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• After each tantrum, note down the feeling you believe your child is expressing (e.g., frustration, sadness, hunger, tiredness).

Example: “I think my child is feeling frustrated because I won’t let them have ice cream before lunch.”

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3. Empathetic Response:

 

• Write down how you can verbally acknowledge the feeling to help them feel seen and understood.

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Example: “You’re really upset because I won’t let you have that ice cream.”

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Task 2: Staying Calm During a Tantrum

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Objective: Practice maintaining composure and connection with your child during their tantrum.

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1. Reflect on Your Reactions:

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• How do you usually react when your child throws a tantrum (e.g., frustration, yelling, or remaining calm)?

Example: “I often get frustrated and raise my voice.”

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2. Practice Calm Responses:

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• Commit to a calming phrase or action you can use during the next tantrum.

Example: “Oh dear, I can see you’re feeling really upset.”

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3. Track Your Progress:

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• After each tantrum, note if you managed to stay calm and engaged. How did it affect the situation?

Example: “I stayed calm and knelt down to offer comfort. My child calmed down after a few minutes.”

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Task 3: Reflecting on Tantrums as Learning Moments

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Objective: Use the tantrum as an opportunity to teach emotional regulation.

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1. Post-Tantrum Reflection:

• After your child calms down, note what you can teach them about handling emotions more effectively next time.

Example: “Next time, instead of screaming, tell me that you’re upset.”

2. Teaching Positive Communication:

• Record how you modeled or encouraged your child to use words instead of acting out (e.g., “Use your words to tell me you’re frustrated instead of throwing toys”). Example: “I asked them to say, ‘I’m sad,’ instead of crying, and they tried it after a few attempts.”

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Task 4: Tracking Progress Over Time (Quantitative & Qualitative)

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1. Quantitative Progress:

• Count the number of tantrums each week and compare if they’re becoming less frequent or shorter over time.

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• Track the number of times you were able to remain calm, use empathetic language, and guide your child to express feelings verbally. Example Tracking Table:

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2. Qualitative Progress:

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• Write down any improvements you’ve noticed in your child’s emotional regulation or your responses.

• Reflect on what you’ve learned from your child’s behavior over time. Example: “By week 2, my child is starting to use words to express their frustration, and I’ve felt less overwhelmed by their tantrums.”

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Task 5: Collaborating on Solutions

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Objective: Involve your child in finding ways to prevent tantrums.

1. Identifying Triggers:

• Together with your child (if age-appropriate), brainstorm possible solutions to prevent tantrums in known trigger situations.

• Write down agreed strategies (e.g., giving a five-minute warning before transitioning from playtime).

2. Tracking Success:

• After each incident, note if the agreed strategy was followed and whether it reduced the likelihood or severity of the tantrum.

Example: “We agreed to give a warning before leaving the park, and the tantrum was less intense this time.”

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Final Reflection:

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• How has your understanding of your child’s tantrums changed after these exercises?

• What strategies have worked best in managing tantrums and helping your child express their emotions more effectively?

• How have you felt throughout this process? Are there any areas where you’d like additional support or resources?

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