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Building a Better Inner Dialogue
for You and Your Child
Introduction:
Our inner voice shapes our thoughts, actions, and ultimately, our children’s behavior. By becoming more mindful of how we talk to ourselves, we can model a healthy inner dialogue for our children.
Task 1: Recognizing Your Inner Voice
Reflect on the following questions to explore your inner voice and how it might affect your parenting.
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1. How do you talk to yourself throughout the day? Write down a few examples
of self-critical or self-encouraging thoughts that pop up.
2. Do any of these thoughts sound familiar from your childhood? Think about
how your parents talked to themselves or to you.
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3. How do you think your inner voice might be influencing your child’s self-talk?
Task 2: Reframing Negative Self-Talk
Use the following steps to begin changing your inner dialogue.
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1. Recognize when your inner critic speaks up.
Keep a notebook handy and jot down self-critical thoughts
throughout the day.
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2. Acknowledge without engaging.
The next time your inner critic says something negative, try responding with, “Well, you’re entitled to your opinion,” and then move forward with your actions.
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Example:
Critic: “You’ll never get it right.”
Response: “Thanks for the input, but I’m still going to try.”
Task 3: Focus on the Process, Not Labels
This week, practice shifting from judgmental labels to process-oriented feedback—for both yourself and your child.
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1. Reflect on how often you judge yourself as a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ parent. How can you replace these labels with descriptive observations of your actions?
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2. How can you praise effort and process in your child’s actions? For example, instead of saying, “You’re great at math,” say, “I’m really impressed with how hard you concentrated on those problems.”
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Final Reflection
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This week, reflect on how changing your inner dialogue affects your relationship with yourself and your child.
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1. What have you noticed about your self-talk after completing this week’s exercises?
2. How has focusing on the process instead of the outcome affected your parenting?
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Progress Tracker
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Use this section to evaluate your progress with self-awareness and changing your inner dialogue. You can track both your thoughts and the impact it has on your parenting.
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​Quantitative Tracking
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1. How much progress have you made in recognizing your inner critic?
On a scale of 1-5 (1 = Little progress, 5 = Significant progress):​
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( ) 5
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2. How successful were you in reframing negative self-talk into neutral or positive thoughts? On a scale of 1-5 (1 = Rarely successful, 5 = Very successful):
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( ) 5
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3. How confident are you in recognizing when your child might be influenced by your inner dialogue?
On a scale of 1-5 (1 = Not confident, 5 = Very confident):
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( ) 5
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Qualitative Tracking
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​1. What self-critical thought did you catch the most often? How did you respond to it?
2. Did you notice any changes in how your child speaks to themselves, or how you approach their behavior?
3. How do you feel about the way you spoke to yourself after completing this week’s exercises?
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