Managing Praise for Building Resilience and Self-Motivation

This worksheet will help you apply strategies to balance praise effectively, promoting your child’s independence, resilience, and self-motivation. You will engage in specific tasks with your child and track their progress over time.

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​Task 1: Shifting from External Validation to Intrinsic Motivation

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Goal:

Help your child focus on personal satisfaction from completing a task rather than seeking praise from others.

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1. Task: Encourage Self-Reflection

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• After your child completes a task, avoid giving immediate praise. Instead, ask reflective questions such as:

• “How did you feel about completing that?”

• “What did you enjoy most about your work?”

• Record your child’s response.

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2. Progress Measurement:

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• Qualitative (Reflection): How does your child describe their feelings after completing tasks over time? Note any shifts from seeking external validation (e.g., “Did I do a good job?”) to expressing pride in their own efforts.

• Week 1:

• Week 2:

• Week 3:

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• Quantitative (Frequency): How often does your child ask for praise or approval after completing tasks?

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• Track per week:

Week 1: __ times

Week 2: __ times

Week 3: __ times

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Task 2: Balancing Effort and Results

 

Goal:

Teach your child to value both the effort and the outcomes of their actions.

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1. Task: Praise Effort and Results

 

• When your child completes a task, praise the effort they put in, as well as the results. Use phrases like:

• “You worked really hard, and look at how much you’ve improved!”

• Note specific examples of when you use this type of praise.

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2. Progress Measurement:

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• Qualitative (Growth):

How does your child respond to balanced praise? Do they show more interest in improving their work? Describe any observable changes.

• Week 1:

• Week 2:

• Week 3:

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• Quantitative (Results): Measure how often your child takes steps to improve after receiving balanced praise.

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• Number of improvements/actions taken per week:

Week 1: __ actions

Week 2: __ actions

Week 3: __ actions

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Task 3: Developing Resilience to Setbacks

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Goal:

Help your child handle setbacks by normalizing failure and focusing on growth.

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1. Task: Positive Reframing of Challenges

• When your child experiences a setback or makes a mistake, acknowledge the effort and emphasize learning:

• “It’s okay that this didn’t work out—it’s a chance to learn something new.”

• Record the situations in which you apply this approach and note your child’s reactions.

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2. Progress Measurement:

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• Qualitative (Resilience): How does your child handle mistakes or failures over time? Do they show more perseverance? Record any noticeable changes in how they face challenges.

• Week 1:

• Week 2:

• Week 3:

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• Quantitative (Handling Setbacks): Count the number of times your child tries again after facing a setback.

• Number of retries per week:

Week 1: __ retries

Week 2: __ retries

Week 3: __ retries

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Task 4: Avoiding Praise Inflation

 

Goal:

Reduce unnecessary praise and reserve it for genuine accomplishments to prevent “praise inflation.”

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1. Task: Focus on Meaningful Praise

 

• Reserve praise for moments when your child shows significant effort, growth, or kindness. Use specific praise like:

• “You worked hard to solve that problem” or

• “I appreciate how thoughtful you were with your friend.”

• Record examples of specific, meaningful praise you give.

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2. Progress Measurement:

 

• Qualitative (Meaningful Praise): How does your child respond to more selective, meaningful praise? Note changes in their behaviour and motivation.

• Week 1:

• Week 2:

• Week 3:

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• Quantitative (Frequency of Praise): Track how often you give praise per week, ensuring it’s reserved for significant moments.

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• Number of instances of praise per week:

Week 1: __ praises

Week 2: __ praises

Week 3: __ praises

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Reflection Section: Parent Self-Assessment

 

1. What changes did you notice in your child’s behaviour or attitude towards praise over the past three weeks?

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• Example:

2. How did adjusting your praise approach impact your own parenting?

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• Example:

 

3. What strategies worked best in helping your child develop more resilience and selfmotivation?

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• Example:

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Next Steps:

Continue applying these strategies over the next month and revisit your observations. Track any long-term progress in your child’s self-motivation and resilience, refining your approach as needed.

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This worksheet is designed to encourage consistent practice and reflection, supporting parents in fostering healthier emotional and motivational habits in their children.

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