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Managing Praise for Building Resilience and Self-Motivation
Objective:
This worksheet will help you apply strategies to balance praise effectively, promoting your child’s independence, resilience, and self-motivation. You will engage in specific tasks with your child and track their progress over time.
Task 1: Shifting from External Validation to Intrinsic Motivation
Goal:
Help your child focus on personal satisfaction from completing a task rather than seeking praise from others.
1. Task: Encourage Self-Reflection
• After your child completes a task, avoid giving immediate praise. Instead, ask reflective questions such as:
• “How did you feel about completing that?”
• “What did you enjoy most about your work?”
• Record your child’s response.
2. Progress Measurement:
• Qualitative (Reflection): How does your child describe their feelings after completing tasks over time? Note any shifts from seeking external validation (e.g., “Did I do a good job?”) to expressing pride in their own efforts.
• Week 1:
• Week 2:
• Week 3:
• Quantitative (Frequency): How often does your child ask for praise or approval after completing tasks?
• Track per week:
Week 1: __ times
Week 2: __ times
Week 3: __ times
Task 2: Balancing Effort and Results
Goal:
Teach your child to value both the effort and the outcomes of their actions.
1. Task: Praise Effort and Results
• When your child completes a task, praise the effort they put in, as well as the results. Use phrases like:
• “You worked really hard, and look at how much you’ve improved!”
• Note specific examples of when you use this type of praise.
2. Progress Measurement:
• Qualitative (Growth):
How does your child respond to balanced praise? Do they show more interest in improving their work? Describe any observable changes.
• Week 1:
• Week 2:
• Week 3:
• Quantitative (Results): Measure how often your child takes steps to improve after receiving balanced praise.
• Number of improvements/actions taken per week:
Week 1: __ actions
Week 2: __ actions
Week 3: __ actions
Task 3: Developing Resilience to Setbacks
Goal:
Help your child handle setbacks by normalizing failure and focusing on growth.
1. Task: Positive Reframing of Challenges
• When your child experiences a setback or makes a mistake, acknowledge the effort and emphasize learning:
• “It’s okay that this didn’t work out—it’s a chance to learn something new.”
• Record the situations in which you apply this approach and note your child’s reactions.
2. Progress Measurement:
• Qualitative (Resilience): How does your child handle mistakes or failures over time? Do they show more perseverance? Record any noticeable changes in how they face challenges.
• Week 1:
• Week 2:
• Week 3:
• Quantitative (Handling Setbacks): Count the number of times your child tries again after facing a setback.
• Number of retries per week:
Week 1: __ retries
Week 2: __ retries
Week 3: __ retries
Task 4: Avoiding Praise Inflation
Goal:
Reduce unnecessary praise and reserve it for genuine accomplishments to prevent “praise inflation.”
1. Task: Focus on Meaningful Praise
• Reserve praise for moments when your child shows significant effort, growth, or kindness. Use specific praise like:
• “You worked hard to solve that problem” or
• “I appreciate how thoughtful you were with your friend.”
• Record examples of specific, meaningful praise you give.
2. Progress Measurement:
• Qualitative (Meaningful Praise): How does your child respond to more selective, meaningful praise? Note changes in their behaviour and motivation.
• Week 1:
• Week 2:
• Week 3:
• Quantitative (Frequency of Praise): Track how often you give praise per week, ensuring it’s reserved for significant moments.
• Number of instances of praise per week:
Week 1: __ praises
Week 2: __ praises
Week 3: __ praises
Reflection Section: Parent Self-Assessment
1. What changes did you notice in your child’s behaviour or attitude towards praise over the past three weeks?
• Example:
2. How did adjusting your praise approach impact your own parenting?
• Example:
3. What strategies worked best in helping your child develop more resilience and selfmotivation?
• Example:
Next Steps:
Continue applying these strategies over the next month and revisit your observations. Track any long-term progress in your child’s self-motivation and resilience, refining your approach as needed.
This worksheet is designed to encourage consistent practice and reflection, supporting parents in fostering healthier emotional and motivational habits in their children.