Establishing House Rules for Children – Creating Order, Consistency, and Enjoyment

This worksheet is designed to help parents create and enforce house rules that establish order, structure, and consistency while fostering love and connection with their children.

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Task 1: Say Only What You Mean, and Mean It

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Goal:

To ensure that the rules and consequences you set are clear, consistent, and followed through.

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1. Task: Set Specific Rules and Follow Through

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• Create 3-5 clear, specific rules for your household. Write them below:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

• Record examples where you followed through with the consequence of a broken rule.

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2. Progress Measurement:

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• Qualitative (Reflection): How did your child respond to clear and specific rules? Did they show more respect for boundaries? Write a short reflection each week.

• Week 1:

• Week 2:

• Week 3:

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• Quantitative (Follow-Through): Count how many times you followed through with the consequences for breaking a rule.

• Number of times per week:

Week 1: __ times

Week 2: __ times

Week 3: __ times

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Task 2: Consistency is Key

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Goal:

To ensure rules are enforced consistently by all caregivers to avoid confusion and boundary testing.

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1. Task: Consistent Rule Enforcement

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• Discuss the house rules with other caregivers (e.g., partner, grandparents) and ensure agreement on enforcing them consistently.

• Track examples of times when rules were enforced consistently by all caregivers.

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2. Progress Measurement:

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• Qualitative (Reflection): How did consistency affect your child’s behaviour? Did you notice fewer boundary tests? Record any changes.

• Week 1:

• Week 2:

• Week 3:

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• Quantitative (Consistency): Measure how consistently both caregivers enforced the rules.

• Consistency rate (times both caregivers enforced rules out of total opportunities):

Week 1: __ actions

Week 2: __ actions

Week 3: __ actions

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Task 3: Create Routine and Structure

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Goal:

To implement clear daily routines that provide predictability and reduce power struggles.

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1. Task: Establish Daily Routines

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• Write down your morning, after-school, and bedtime routines below:

• Morning routine:

• After-school routine:

• Bedtime routine:

• Involve your child in deciding the order of tasks and track how they respond to the structure.

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2. Progress Measurement:

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• Qualitative (Independence): How has your child’s independence improved? Do they complete tasks more autonomously? Reflect on changes.

• Week 1:

• Week 2:

• Week 3:

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• Quantitative (Routine Adherence): Track how often your child completes the routine without reminders.

• Number of times per week:

Week 1: __ retries

Week 2: __ retries

Week 3: __ retries

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Task 4: Set Clear Boundaries and Expectations

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Goal:

To communicate house rules clearly, so your child understands what behaviour is acceptable.

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1. Task: Communicate Boundaries and Explain the “Why”

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• Choose 3 key rules (e.g., “Be kind to others,” “No running indoors,” etc.) and explain the reasons behind them to your child.

• Rule 1: __

• Rule 2: __

• Rule 3: __

​• Record your child’s reaction to each explanation.

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2. Progress Measurement:

 

• Qualitative (Understanding): How well does your child understand the boundaries? Do they ask for clarification or accept the rules? Reflect on their understanding.

• Week 1:

• Week 2:

• Week 3:

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• Quantitative (Boundary Testing): Track how often your child tests or challenges the boundaries.

• Number of boundary tests per week:

Week 1: __ times

Week 2: __ times

Week 3: __ times

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Task 5: Believe in Your Ability as a Parent

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Goal:

To boost your confidence as a parent, helping you enforce rules consistently and effectively

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1. Task: Practice Positive Self-Talk

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• Choose a positive affirmation to repeat to yourself daily (e.g., “I am capable of handling this,” or “I’m doing my best.”)

• Affirmation: __

• Track how you felt after using positive self-talk and note any improvements in your ability to enforce rules.

2. Progress Measurement:

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• Qualitative (Confidence): Reflect on how confident you felt as a parent. Did you notice a shift in how you approached challenges with your child?

• Week 1:

• Week 2:

• Week 3:

• Quantitative (Self-Assessment): Rate your confidence in parenting on a scale of 1-10 each week.

• Confidence level:

Week 1: __/10

Week 2: __/10

Week 3: __/10

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Task 6: Balance Rules with Love

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Goal:

To ensure that your enforcement of rules is balanced with warmth, affection, and connection.

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1. Task: Express Love Alongside Rules

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• After enforcing a rule, express love and connection through physical affection (e.g., a hug) or verbal affirmation (e.g., “I love you, and this is why we follow the rules”).

• Track specific examples where you balanced discipline with love.

2. Progress Measurement:

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• Qualitative (Connection): How did your child respond when you paired rules with love and affection? Do they seem more connected to you? Reflect on these moments.

• Week 1:

• Week 2:

• Week 3:

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• Quantitative (Praise and Connection): Track how many times per week you express love and affection alongside enforcing a rule

• Number of instances per week:

Week 1: __ times

Week 2: __ times

Week 3: __ times

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Task 7: Enjoy the Process

 

Goal:

To find joy and positivity in parenting, even when facing challenges

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1. Task: Create Fun and Celebrate Victories

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• Choose one daily task to turn into a fun activity (e.g., singing songs while cleaning up). Track how this affects the atmosphere in your home.

• Celebrate small victories (e.g., your child following the rules) and share in their pride. Record examples of celebrations or positive moments.

2. Progress Measurement:

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• Qualitative (Joy and Atmosphere): Reflect on the general atmosphere in your home. Do you notice more joy and connection? Write down specific moments where you found joy in the parenting process.

• Week 1:

• Week 2:

• Week 3:

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• Quantitative (Fun Activities): Track how many times per week you turn routine tasks into fun or celebrate small victories.

• Number of times per week:

​Week 1: __ times

Week 2: __ times

Week 3: __ times

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Reflection Section: Parent Self-Assessment

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1. What changes did you notice in your child’s behaviour or response to the house rules over the past three weeks?

• Example:

2. What strategies were most effective in establishing order and creating a positive home environment?

• Example:

3. How did adjusting your parenting approach impact your overall sense of confidence and joy in parenting?

• Example:

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