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Establishing House Rules for Children – Creating Order, Consistency, and Enjoyment
Objective:
This worksheet is designed to help parents create and enforce house rules that establish order, structure, and consistency while fostering love and connection with their children.
Task 1: Say Only What You Mean, and Mean It
Goal:
To ensure that the rules and consequences you set are clear, consistent, and followed through.
1. Task: Set Specific Rules and Follow Through
• Create 3-5 clear, specific rules for your household. Write them below:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
• Record examples where you followed through with the consequence of a broken rule.
2. Progress Measurement:
• Qualitative (Reflection): How did your child respond to clear and specific rules? Did they show more respect for boundaries? Write a short reflection each week.
• Week 1:
• Week 2:
• Week 3:
• Quantitative (Follow-Through): Count how many times you followed through with the consequences for breaking a rule.
• Number of times per week:
Week 1: __ times
Week 2: __ times
Week 3: __ times
Task 2: Consistency is Key
Goal:
To ensure rules are enforced consistently by all caregivers to avoid confusion and boundary testing.
1. Task: Consistent Rule Enforcement
• Discuss the house rules with other caregivers (e.g., partner, grandparents) and ensure agreement on enforcing them consistently.
• Track examples of times when rules were enforced consistently by all caregivers.
2. Progress Measurement:
• Qualitative (Reflection): How did consistency affect your child’s behaviour? Did you notice fewer boundary tests? Record any changes.
• Week 1:
• Week 2:
• Week 3:
• Quantitative (Consistency): Measure how consistently both caregivers enforced the rules.
• Consistency rate (times both caregivers enforced rules out of total opportunities):
Week 1: __ actions
Week 2: __ actions
Week 3: __ actions
Task 3: Create Routine and Structure
Goal:
To implement clear daily routines that provide predictability and reduce power struggles.
1. Task: Establish Daily Routines
• Write down your morning, after-school, and bedtime routines below:
• Morning routine:
• After-school routine:
• Bedtime routine:
• Involve your child in deciding the order of tasks and track how they respond to the structure.
2. Progress Measurement:
• Qualitative (Independence): How has your child’s independence improved? Do they complete tasks more autonomously? Reflect on changes.
• Week 1:
• Week 2:
• Week 3:
• Quantitative (Routine Adherence): Track how often your child completes the routine without reminders.
• Number of times per week:
Week 1: __ retries
Week 2: __ retries
Week 3: __ retries
Task 4: Set Clear Boundaries and Expectations
Goal:
To communicate house rules clearly, so your child understands what behaviour is acceptable.
1. Task: Communicate Boundaries and Explain the “Why”
• Choose 3 key rules (e.g., “Be kind to others,” “No running indoors,” etc.) and explain the reasons behind them to your child.
• Rule 1: __
• Rule 2: __
• Rule 3: __
• Record your child’s reaction to each explanation.
2. Progress Measurement:
• Qualitative (Understanding): How well does your child understand the boundaries? Do they ask for clarification or accept the rules? Reflect on their understanding.
• Week 1:
• Week 2:
• Week 3:
• Quantitative (Boundary Testing): Track how often your child tests or challenges the boundaries.
• Number of boundary tests per week:
Week 1: __ times
Week 2: __ times
Week 3: __ times
Task 5: Believe in Your Ability as a Parent
Goal:
To boost your confidence as a parent, helping you enforce rules consistently and effectively
1. Task: Practice Positive Self-Talk
• Choose a positive affirmation to repeat to yourself daily (e.g., “I am capable of handling this,” or “I’m doing my best.”)
• Affirmation: __
• Track how you felt after using positive self-talk and note any improvements in your ability to enforce rules.
2. Progress Measurement:
• Qualitative (Confidence): Reflect on how confident you felt as a parent. Did you notice a shift in how you approached challenges with your child?
• Week 1:
• Week 2:
• Week 3:
• Quantitative (Self-Assessment): Rate your confidence in parenting on a scale of 1-10 each week.
• Confidence level:
Week 1: __/10
Week 2: __/10
Week 3: __/10
Task 6: Balance Rules with Love
Goal:
To ensure that your enforcement of rules is balanced with warmth, affection, and connection.
1. Task: Express Love Alongside Rules
• After enforcing a rule, express love and connection through physical affection (e.g., a hug) or verbal affirmation (e.g., “I love you, and this is why we follow the rules”).
• Track specific examples where you balanced discipline with love.
2. Progress Measurement:
• Qualitative (Connection): How did your child respond when you paired rules with love and affection? Do they seem more connected to you? Reflect on these moments.
• Week 1:
• Week 2:
• Week 3:
• Quantitative (Praise and Connection): Track how many times per week you express love and affection alongside enforcing a rule
• Number of instances per week:
Week 1: __ times
Week 2: __ times
Week 3: __ times
Task 7: Enjoy the Process
Goal:
To find joy and positivity in parenting, even when facing challenges
1. Task: Create Fun and Celebrate Victories
• Choose one daily task to turn into a fun activity (e.g., singing songs while cleaning up). Track how this affects the atmosphere in your home.
• Celebrate small victories (e.g., your child following the rules) and share in their pride. Record examples of celebrations or positive moments.
2. Progress Measurement:
• Qualitative (Joy and Atmosphere): Reflect on the general atmosphere in your home. Do you notice more joy and connection? Write down specific moments where you found joy in the parenting process.
• Week 1:
• Week 2:
• Week 3:
• Quantitative (Fun Activities): Track how many times per week you turn routine tasks into fun or celebrate small victories.
• Number of times per week:
Week 1: __ times
Week 2: __ times
Week 3: __ times
Reflection Section: Parent Self-Assessment
1. What changes did you notice in your child’s behaviour or response to the house rules over the past three weeks?
• Example:
2. What strategies were most effective in establishing order and creating a positive home environment?
• Example:
3. How did adjusting your parenting approach impact your overall sense of confidence and joy in parenting?
• Example:
Behavioural Breakthrough Script:
This script is a go-to guide for parents to create clear, consistent, and loving house rules across different age groups. It provides practical responses to ensure children understand expectations, develop responsibility, and thrive within a structured yet warm environment.
⸻
1. The Purpose of House Rules
House rules aren’t about control—they provide children with:
✅ A sense of security – Knowing what to expect reduces anxiety.
✅ Clear boundaries – Teaching respect, responsibility, and cooperation.
✅ Consistency and fairness – Ensuring that rules are predictable and enforced with love.
The goal is to balance structure with warmth, so children respect the rules rather than resent them.
⸻
2. What to Say and What to Avoid Based on Age
Preschoolers (Ages 2–5): “Simple Rules for Big Emotions”
Young children thrive on clear, simple rules and immediate follow-through.
�� What to Say:
• Keeping it simple: “Toys go back in the box after playtime.”
• Framing rules positively: “We use gentle hands with our friends.”
• Explaining why rules exist: “We sit at the table to eat so our food doesn’t spill.”
• Encouraging participation: “Would you like to pick up blocks or books first?”
�� What to Avoid:
• ❌ “Be good!” (Too vague—what does ‘good’ mean?)
• ❌ “Stop making a mess!” (Reframe positively: “Toys belong in the basket.”)
• ❌ “If you don’t listen, Santa won’t come!” (Avoid threats you won’t enforce.)
✅ Pro Tip: Turn rules into fun routines! “Let’s race to see who can put toys away first!”
⸻
Middle Childhood (Ages 6–9): “Responsibility and Routine”
Children in this stage start to understand cause and effect, so consistent consequences matter.
�� What to Say:
• Giving clear expectations: “Screen time ends after dinner, then it’s reading time.”
• Teaching responsibility: “Dishes go in the sink after eating—it helps the whole family.”
• Explaining consequences calmly: “If you don’t finish your homework, you’ll have less free time later.”
• Offering choices within boundaries: “Do you want to do your homework before or after your snack?”
�� What to Avoid:
• ❌ “I’ve told you a thousand times!” (Instead, calmly enforce the consequence.)
• ❌ “If you don’t listen, I’ll throw your toys away!” (Avoid extreme threats.)
• ❌ “Why can’t you just behave?” (Give specific feedback: “I need you to use a calm voice inside.”)
✅ Pro Tip: Use visual reminders! A simple house rules chart helps kids remember expectations.
⸻
Puberty (Ages 10–12): “Encouraging Cooperation and Independence”
Preteens push boundaries but still need clear, fair rules. They value being heard, so involve them in setting expectations.
�� What to Say:
• Setting fair rules together: “Let’s agree on a bedtime that works for school nights.”
• Giving logical consequences: “If you forget your homework, I won’t bring it to school for you.”
• Explaining why rules exist: “We have screen time limits because too much can affect sleep.”
• Encouraging ownership: “You’re responsible for keeping your room tidy—how can we make that easier?”
�� What to Avoid:
• ❌ “Because I said so!” (Instead, explain why the rule matters.)
• ❌ “You’re too old to act like this!” (This shames rather than teaches.)
• ❌ “If you don’t listen, I’ll take away everything!” (Extreme punishments create resentment, not learning.)
✅ Pro Tip: Let them contribute! “What rules do you think help our home run smoothly?”
⸻
Adolescence (Ages 13–18): “Rules with Respect and Flexibility”
Teenagers need rules, but they also need independence. Balance firm boundaries with mutual respect.
�� What to Say:
• Setting boundaries respectfully: “I trust you, so let’s set a curfew that’s fair and safe.”
• Giving responsibility: “If you miss the bus, it’s your job to figure out how to get to school.”
• Allowing discussion but holding firm: “I hear you, but chores are non-negotiable. When do you prefer to do them?”
• Encouraging problem-solving: “What can we do to help mornings run more smoothly?”
�� What to Avoid:
• ❌ “As long as you live under my roof, you follow my rules!” (This creates resistance, not cooperation.)
• ❌ “You’re acting like a child!” (Instead, address the behavior specifically.)
• ❌ “I don’t care what your friends do!” (Teenagers care about fairness—explain the logic behind your rule.)
✅ Pro Tip: Negotiate within reason. “Let’s review curfew next month based on how things go.”
⸻
3. Common Challenges and How to Handle Them
4. Balancing Rules with Love
�� The Golden Rule: Structure + Warmth = Success
✅ Set clear expectations – Kids feel safer when they know the rules.
✅ Follow through consistently – If you say it, mean it.
✅ Balance discipline with love – “I love you, and that’s why I set these rules.”
✅ Make house rules a team effort – Let kids have input when appropriate.
✅ Enjoy parenting! – Turn routines into fun and celebrate progress.
⸻
5. Final Takeaways
✅ Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
✅ Consistency is everything—avoid empty threats.
✅ Give kids ownership where possible—rules work best when they feel fair.
✅ Balance structure with warmth—rules + love create a happy home.
By setting clear, fair, and consistent house rules, parents create a secure environment where children feel respected, responsible, and ready to thrive.
Connection Reset Digital Journal
A Guided Reflection for Parents in the Connection-Correction Parenting Course
Introduction
Parenting is a journey of continuous growth—for both you and your child. This journal is designed to help you apply the insights from the Connection-Correction Parenting Course, track your progress, and deepen your connection with your child. By reflecting on your daily experiences, emotional triggers, and parenting wins, you’ll create a foundation for resilience, emotional intelligence, and trust in your relationship.
Use this journal daily or weekly to document your thoughts and experiences. You are not striving for perfection—you are embracing growth.
Daily Reflection Template
Date:
1. What parenting challenge did I face today?
(Describe any difficult moments, whether it was managing a tantrum, navigating a power struggle, handling sibling conflict, or responding to defiance.)
2. How did I respond?
(Be honest—did you stay calm? Did you react out of frustration? What approach did you use?)
3. What emotions did I feel in that moment?
☐ Frustration
☐ Anxiety
☐ Guilt
☐ Helplessness
☐ Anger
☐ Fear
☐ Shame
☐ Sadness
☐ Calm
☐ Confidence
☐ Gratitude
☐ Other: __________
4. Did this challenge connect to my own childhood experiences?
(Reflect on whether this situation triggered memories or patterns from your upbringing.)
5. What did I do well today?
(Did you pause before reacting? Did you practice active listening? Did you model emotional regulation?)
6. How did my child respond?
(Did you pause before reacting? Did you practice active listening? Did you model emotional regulation?)
7. What is one small change I can try next time?
(Think of a phrase, action, or mindset shift you want to implement tomorrow.)
8. Did I have a meaningful moment of connection with my child today?
☐ Yes, during _________ (e.g., bedtime, playtime, a meal).
☐ No, but I will create one tomorrow by __________ (e.g., putting my phone away during conversations, reading together, asking about their feelings).
Weekly Reflection: Recognizing Growth
1. What progress have I noticed in my child’s behavior or emotional regulation this week?
(Smaller tantrums? More cooperation? More open conversations? Increased independence?)
2. What progress have I noticed in my own parenting?
(Have you been more patient, consistent, or intentional in your responses?)
3. What moments of repair and reconnection stood out?
(Think of a time when you resolved conflict with understanding rather than control.)
4. What was my biggest parenting challenge this week, and how did I handle it?
(Were you able to apply course strategies? If not, what can you adjust?)
5. Which parenting approach from the Connection-Correction Parenting Course helped me the most this week?
☐ Self-awareness of my parenting heritage
☐ Using natural consequences instead of punishments
☐ Teaching my child to express emotions with words
☐ Responding to behavior as communication
☐ Practicing mindful listening and connection
☐ Managing my inner critic to set a positive example
☐ Fostering independence with healthy boundaries
☐ Other: ___________
6. What is my parenting goal for the upcoming week?
(Examples: “Stay calm during meltdowns,” “Let my child solve more problems on their own,” “Model self-compassion when I make mistakes.”)
Breakthrough Moments
(Use this section whenever you experience a significant realization, shift, or parenting win.)
• What happened?
• What did I learn?
• How will I apply this going forward?
Reset and Self-Care Check-In
(Parenting is emotionally demanding. Take a moment to check in with yourself.)
1. How am I feeling about parenting right now?
☐ Overwhelmed
☐ Confident
☐ Tired
☐ Hopeful
☐ Frustrated
☐ Inspired
☐ Supported
☐ Other: _______
2. Have I taken care of my own emotional needs this week?
☐ Yes, I made time for myself by ___________ (e.g., reading, exercising, journaling, talking to a friend).
☐ No, I need to make space for self-care by ___________.
3. What is one thing I can do to recharge as a parent?
(Examples: Take a break, practice breathwork, remind myself that I don’t have to be perfect.)
Final Thoughts
Parenting is not about being flawless—it’s about showing up, staying curious, and continuously learning. Every time you reflect, adjust, and repair, you are strengthening your connection with your child.
This journal is your space to document growth, setbacks, and victories. Keep going, keep reflecting, and trust that even the smallest changes are shaping your child’s future in meaningful ways.
You are building a relationship that will last a lifetime.