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Investing Time Positively Earlier Rather Than Negatively Later
Introduction:
This week, we’ll focus on investing time early to prevent challenging behavior later. By anticipating difficulties, putting feelings into words, and being flexible with routines, we can help our children navigate emotions more smoothly.
Task 1: Predicting Difficulties
1. Think of a situation where your child often struggles (e.g., transitions, new environments, routine changes).
What are their common triggers, and how could you anticipate them?
2. Write a letter to yourself from your child’s point of view. What might they say if they could clearly express their feelings about this challenging situation?
Task 2: Helping Your Child Put Feelings into Words
1. Reflect on a recent moment when your child acted out. How could you help them put their feelings into words instead of acting out with difficult behavior?
2. How can you guide your child in expressing their emotions using clear language during similar future situations?
Task 3: Understanding Routine and Flexibility
1. Think about a time when your child became upset because a routine changed unexpectedly (e.g., a different way home, a new bedtime routine).
How could you have given them advance warning or explanation to help them adjust?
2. What steps can you take to help your child be more flexible with routines while respecting their need for stability?
Final Reflection
1. How has this lesson changed your perspective on how to invest time positively with your child?
2. What steps will you take to help your child express their feelings and adjust to routine changes more smoothly?
Progress Tracker
Use this section to evaluate your progress in investing time early to help your child manage emotions and adjust to changes.
Quantitative Tracking
1. How often did you anticipate and prevent difficult situations for your child this week?
On a scale of 1-5 (1 = Rarely, 5 = Frequently):
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( ) 2
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( ) 5
2. How often did you help your child put their feelings into words instead of reacting with difficult behavior?
On a scale of 1-5 (1 = Rarely, 5 = Frequently):
( ) 1
( ) 2
( ) 3
( ) 4
( ) 5
3. How confident do you feel about helping your child be flexible with routines while respecting their need for stability?
On a scale of 1-5 (1 = Not confident, 5 = Very confident):
( ) 1
( ) 2
( ) 3
( ) 4
( ) 5
Qualitative Tracking
1. What was the most important insight you gained from reflecting on your child’s emotions and routines this week?
2. How did focusing on your child’s feelings change the way you helped them navigate transitions or frustrating moments?
Behavioural Breakthrough Script:
1. Pre-School (Ages 2-5): Building Emotional Security Through Presence
Common Challenges:
• Tantrums and emotional outbursts when routines change
• Struggles with transitions (e.g., leaving the house, bedtime)
• Parents feeling rushed and unintentionally dismissing emotions
What to Say & How to Say It:
Invest Time Positively
• “I have a few extra minutes—let’s cuddle before we go.”
• “I know you like to buckle your own shoes, so let’s start getting ready early.”
(Proactively spending time reduces power struggles and stress.)
Predict Challenges by Seeing Their Perspective
“If I were you, I’d feel sad too if my routine changed suddenly. Let’s talk about what’s different today.”
• (If a child struggles with leaving the park:) “You love playing here. Let’s plan when we can come back!”
Help Behaviour by Naming Emotions
• “It looks like you’re feeling frustrated. Do you want to stomp your feet or take a deep breath?”
• “I see you’re upset because we didn’t use the lift today. It’s okay to feel that way.”
Balance Routine and Flexibility
• “We always read two books at bedtime, but tonight we’ll do just one since it’s late. Do you want to pick the story?”
When Explanations Don’t Help
• “I don’t know why you’re upset, but I’m here with you. We’ll figure it out together.”
(Young children need support, not explanations they might not understand.)
2. Middle Childhood (Ages 6-11): Encouraging Emotional Awareness and Resilience
Common Challenges:
• Resistance to rules and transitions
• Emotional meltdowns over seemingly minor issues
• Parents unintentionally ignoring emotional cues due to busy schedules
What to Say & How to Say It:
Invest Time Positively
• “Before homework, let’s spend 10 minutes chatting about your day.”
• “I know mornings are rushed. Let’s wake up 5 minutes earlier so we’re not stressed.”
(Quality time upfront prevents conflict later.)
Predict Challenges by Seeing Their Perspective
• “You’re frustrated because you didn’t know this change was coming. Let’s come up with a backup plan next time.”
• (If a child struggles with school drop-off:) “Mornings are tough for you. What can we do to make it easier?”
Help Behaviour by Naming Emotions
• “I can see you’re feeling overwhelmed by homework. Let’s take a break and talk about it.”
• “You seem really annoyed right now. Do you want to vent, or do you need space?”
Balance Routine and Flexibility
• “We usually have screen time after dinner, but tonight we’re going out. Let’s find another time tomorrow.”
When Explanations Don’t Help
• “I don’t know why you’re upset, but I’m here to listen when you’re ready.”
(Middle childhood is about emotional learning—being present helps them develop resilience.)
3. Puberty (Ages 12-14): Supporting Emotional Regulation & Independence
Common Challenges:
• Increased mood swings and emotional intensity
• Resistance to rules and expectations
• Withdrawing from family interactions
What to Say & How to Say It:
Invest Time Positively
• “I know you like your space, but I’d love to hear about your day when you’re ready.”
• “Let’s do something together—no pressure, just hanging out.”
(Teens are more likely to open up when they don’t feel forced.)
Predict Challenges by Seeing Their Perspective
• “You don’t like being surprised by plans. Next time, I’ll give you a heads-up earlier.”
• (If they struggle with school stress:) “School is a lot right now. Do you need help or just someone to listen?”
Help Behaviour by Naming Emotions
• “You seem frustrated—are you feeling overwhelmed, annoyed, or something else?”
• “I noticed you were really quiet at dinner. Is something on your mind?”
Balance Routine and Flexibility
• “We usually eat together, but if you need space tonight, I understand.”
When Explanations Don’t Help
• “I might not understand exactly what’s wrong, but I’m here when you want to talk.”
(Teens need space, but they also need to know you’re available when they’re ready.)
4. Adolescence (Ages 15-18): Strengthening Connection While Respecting Independence
Common Challenges:
• Resistance to authority and family routines
• Emotional distancing and increased independence
• Struggles with responsibility and decision-making
What to Say & How to Say It:
Invest Time Positively
• “I love spending time with you. Let’s do something together—your choice.”
• “Even though you’re independent, I still like to check in. Let’s grab coffee and catch up.”
(Teens value autonomy but still crave connection in low-pressure ways.)
Predict Challenges by Seeing Their Perspective
• “You want more freedom, and I get that. Let’s talk about how to balance independence and responsibility.”
• (If they struggle with a decision:) “It sounds like this is stressing you out. What do you need from me—advice or just to listen?”
Help Behaviour by Naming Emotions
• “You seem stressed about your future. It’s okay to not have all the answers yet.”
• “I noticed you snapped at me earlier. Are you feeling overwhelmed?”
Balance Routine and Flexibility
• “I know we usually have dinner together, but I see you’re busy. Let’s plan another time to connect.”
When Explanations Don’t Help
• “I may not fully understand what you’re going through, but I care, and I’m here if you need me.”
(Adolescents need space but also need to feel supported and valued.)
Why This Works Across All Ages:
✅ Prevents Emotional Blow-Ups – Investing time early prevents behavioural challenges later.
✅ Teaches Emotional Intelligence – Children learn to express emotions rather than act out.
✅ Strengthens Parent-Child Trust – Creates a foundation of connection and respect.
✅ Encourages Independence – Kids learn to navigate emotions while knowing they have support.
Core Reminder for Parents:
Investing time positively in your child’s emotional needs today prevents stress, conflict, and disconnection later. When children feel understood and supported, they develop the confidence and resilience to handle life’s challenges.”
Connection Reset Digital Journal
A Guided Reflection for Parents in the Connection-Correction Parenting Course
Introduction
Parenting is a journey of continuous growth—for both you and your child. This journal is designed to help you apply the insights from the Connection-Correction Parenting Course, track your progress, and deepen your connection with your child. By reflecting on your daily experiences, emotional triggers, and parenting wins, you’ll create a foundation for resilience, emotional intelligence, and trust in your relationship.
Use this journal daily or weekly to document your thoughts and experiences. You are not striving for perfection—you are embracing growth.
Daily Reflection Template
Date:
1. What parenting challenge did I face today?
(Describe any difficult moments, whether it was managing a tantrum, navigating a power struggle, handling sibling conflict, or responding to defiance.)
2. How did I respond?
(Be honest—did you stay calm? Did you react out of frustration? What approach did you use?)
3. What emotions did I feel in that moment?
☐ Frustration
☐ Anxiety
☐ Guilt
☐ Helplessness
☐ Anger
☐ Fear
☐ Shame
☐ Sadness
☐ Calm
☐ Confidence
☐ Gratitude
☐ Other: __________
4. Did this challenge connect to my own childhood experiences?
(Reflect on whether this situation triggered memories or patterns from your upbringing.)
5. What did I do well today?
(Did you pause before reacting? Did you practice active listening? Did you model emotional regulation?)
6. How did my child respond?
(Did you pause before reacting? Did you practice active listening? Did you model emotional regulation?)
7. What is one small change I can try next time?
(Think of a phrase, action, or mindset shift you want to implement tomorrow.)
8. Did I have a meaningful moment of connection with my child today?
☐ Yes, during _________ (e.g., bedtime, playtime, a meal).
☐ No, but I will create one tomorrow by __________ (e.g., putting my phone away during conversations, reading together, asking about their feelings).
Weekly Reflection: Recognizing Growth
1. What progress have I noticed in my child’s behavior or emotional regulation this week?
(Smaller tantrums? More cooperation? More open conversations? Increased independence?)
2. What progress have I noticed in my own parenting?
(Have you been more patient, consistent, or intentional in your responses?)
3. What moments of repair and reconnection stood out?
(Think of a time when you resolved conflict with understanding rather than control.)
4. What was my biggest parenting challenge this week, and how did I handle it?
(Were you able to apply course strategies? If not, what can you adjust?)
5. Which parenting approach from the Connection-Correction Parenting Course helped me the most this week?
☐ Self-awareness of my parenting heritage
☐ Using natural consequences instead of punishments
☐ Teaching my child to express emotions with words
☐ Responding to behavior as communication
☐ Practicing mindful listening and connection
☐ Managing my inner critic to set a positive example
☐ Fostering independence with healthy boundaries
☐ Other: ___________
6. What is my parenting goal for the upcoming week?
(Examples: “Stay calm during meltdowns,” “Let my child solve more problems on their own,” “Model self-compassion when I make mistakes.”)
Breakthrough Moments
(Use this section whenever you experience a significant realization, shift, or parenting win.)
• What happened?
• What did I learn?
• How will I apply this going forward?
Reset and Self-Care Check-In
(Parenting is emotionally demanding. Take a moment to check in with yourself.)
1. How am I feeling about parenting right now?
☐ Overwhelmed
☐ Confident
☐ Tired
☐ Hopeful
☐ Frustrated
☐ Inspired
☐ Supported
☐ Other: _______
2. Have I taken care of my own emotional needs this week?
☐ Yes, I made time for myself by ___________ (e.g., reading, exercising, journaling, talking to a friend).
☐ No, I need to make space for self-care by ___________.
3. What is one thing I can do to recharge as a parent?
(Examples: Take a break, practice breathwork, remind myself that I don’t have to be perfect.)
Final Thoughts
Parenting is not about being flawless—it’s about showing up, staying curious, and continuously learning. Every time you reflect, adjust, and repair, you are strengthening your connection with your child.
This journal is your space to document growth, setbacks, and victories. Keep going, keep reflecting, and trust that even the smallest changes are shaping your child’s future in meaningful ways.
You are building a relationship that will last a lifetime.