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Going with What Works in the
Present, Rather Than Worrying
About the Future
Introduction:
This week, we’ll explore how focusing on the present can ease parenting worries and how certain behavioral qualities—like flexibility and empathy—can be modeled to encourage better behavior in children.
Task 1: Letting Go of Future Worries
1. Think of a parenting situation where you worry about the future (e.g., sleeping, eating, pacifiers).
What thoughts or fears do you have about what might happen if the current situation continues?
2. What works for your child and family right now in this situation? How does it make everyone feel?
3. How can you embrace what works for now, while trusting that your child will outgrow this phase when the time is right?
Task 2: Fostering Key Qualities for Positive Behavior
Reflect on the four key qualities that support positive behavior: tolerating frustration, flexibility, problem-solving, and empathy.
1. How do you typically handle frustration in front of your child?
Are there moments where you could model more patience and tolerance?
2. Think of a recent situation where you needed to be flexible with your child. How did you
adjust your expectations? How did your child respond?
3. How do you encourage problem-solving in your child? Do you give them space to figure
things out, or do you tend to step in too quickly?
4. When was the last time you actively showed your child how to see a situation from someone else’s perspective? What was the situation, and how did you explain it?
Task 3: Modeling Good Behavior
1. Think of a moment recently where you displayed the behavior you want your child to mimic (e.g., patience, kindness, flexibility). How did your child react?
2. Which of the four key qualities do you find most challenging to model, and how can you work on this?
Final Reflection
1. How has letting go of future worries improved your day-to-day parenting?
2. Which of the four key qualities—tolerating frustration, flexibility, problem-solving,
or empathy—are you focusing on most with your child? How are they responding?
Progress Tracker
Use this section to evaluate your progress in going with what works in the present and modeling good behavior for your child.
Quantitative Tracking
1. How often were you able to let go of future worries and focus on what works for your family right now?
On a scale of 1-5 (1 = Rarely, 5 = Frequently):
( ) 1
( ) 2
( ) 3
( ) 4
( ) 5
2. How often did you model one of the four key qualities for positive behavior (tolerating frustration, flexibility, problem-solving, empathy)?
On a scale of 1-5 (1 = Rarely, 5 = Frequently):
( ) 1
( ) 2
( ) 3
( ) 4
( ) 5
3. How confident do you feel about your ability to embrace the present while trusting that your child will grow and change over time?
On a scale of 1-5 (1 = Not confident, 5 = Very confident):
( ) 1
( ) 2
( ) 3
( ) 4
( ) 5
Qualitative Tracking
1. What was the most important insight you gained about going with what works in the present?
2. How has focusing on the four key qualities affected your relationship with your child?
Behavioural Breakthrough Script:
1. Pre-School (Ages 2-5): Meeting Immediate Needs Without Fear of “Bad Habits”
Common Challenges:
• Parents worry that co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding, or frequent carrying will create dependence.
• Children struggle with separation, routines, or emotional regulation.
• Caregivers feel pressured to enforce “independence” too early.
What to Say & How to Say It:
Shift Your Perspective
• “It’s okay if they need me close right now—this won’t last forever.”
• “My child is learning security before they can learn independence.”
Validate & Connect
• “I see that you feel safe when I stay close. I’m here for you.”
• (If others question your approach:) “This is what works for our family right now.”
Model Key Social Skills in the Moment
• Frustration Tolerance: “I wanted to put you down, but I see you need a cuddle first.”
• Flexibility: “You’re not ready for your own bed yet. That’s okay—we’ll take it step by step.”
Adjust When the Time is Right
• “You’ve slept in my bed, and now you’re ready to try your own! Let’s make it special.”
• “You used to need me to carry you all the time, but now you’re walking more—how exciting!”
(Trust that independence will come naturally when they are ready.)
2. Middle Childhood (Ages 6-11): Encouraging Adaptability Without Forcing Independence
Common Challenges:
• Parents worry that accommodating their child’s fears (e.g., needing a nightlight, preferring familiar foods) will prevent resilience.
• Children may struggle with emotional regulation, new routines, or social pressures.
• Caregivers fear that being too flexible will create a lack of discipline.
What to Say & How to Say It:
Shift Your Perspective
• “My child is learning how to manage change at their own pace.”
• “It’s okay to meet their needs now—this doesn’t mean they won’t grow.”
Validate & Connect
• “You like to stick to what feels safe. That’s okay—we’ll take small steps.”
• “I know you want things to stay the same, and change feels hard. I’m here to help.”
Model Key Social Skills in the Moment
• Frustration Tolerance: “You’re upset that bedtime is changing. Let’s work on it together.”
• Flexibility: “You’ve always eaten this food, but let’s try something new and see what happens.”
Adjust When the Time is Right
“You needed a nightlight before, but now you’re ready to try sleeping without it.”
• “You’ve been nervous about new foods, but today you tried something different—well done!”
(Children gain resilience when they feel supported, not forced.)
3. Puberty (Ages 12-14): Allowing Growth While Maintaining Connection
Common Challenges:
• Parents worry that leniency will make teens entitled or lazy.
• Children struggle with emotions, peer pressure, and shifting expectations.
• Caregivers fear that letting their child lean on them too much will prevent maturity.
What to Say & How to Say It:
Shift Your Perspective
• “This stage is about balancing freedom with support.”
• “My child needs to feel secure before they can confidently step forward.”
Validate & Connect
• “I know you want to be independent, and I also see that sometimes you still need me.”
• “You don’t have to have it all figured out yet—I’m here to help.”
Model Key Social Skills in the Moment
• Frustration Tolerance: “I know you’re upset about this rule, but let’s talk about why it’s here.”
• Flexibility: “You used to love family dinners, but now you want more space—that’s okay.”
Adjust When the Time is Right
• “You’re handling more on your own now—if you ever need help, I’m here.”
• “You wanted me to remind you about homework, but now you’re keeping track yourself—great job!”
(Teens build independence when they know they have a safe foundation to return to.)
4. Adolescence (Ages 15-18): Supporting Independence Without Withdrawing Support
Common Challenges:
• Parents worry that too much support will prevent self-sufficiency.
• Teens struggle with responsibility, decision-making, and identity.
• Caregivers feel conflicted between setting boundaries and giving freedom.
What to Say & How to Say It:
Shift Your Perspective
• “My teen is learning independence at their own pace.”
• “I can be supportive without taking over.”
Validate & Connect
• “I know you want to do things your way—I trust you to figure it out.”
• “It’s okay if you need help sometimes. That doesn’t mean you’re not independent.”
Model Key Social Skills in the Moment
• Frustration Tolerance: “I get that rules feel restrictive, but they’re here to help you, not control you.”
• Flexibility: “You’ve always needed reminders, but I see you managing things more on your own now.”
Adjust When the Time is Right
“You used to need my help with everything, but now you’re making your own choices—I’m proud of you.”
• “You don’t need my input on every decision, but if you ever do, I’m always here to talk.”
(Teens gain confidence knowing their parents trust them, even when they make mistakes.)
Why This Works Across All Ages:
✅ Builds Emotional Security – Children feel safe to grow and adapt.
✅ Strengthens Parent-Child Trust – Encourages cooperation rather than power struggles.
✅ Teaches Life Skills Naturally – Independence comes from experience, not forced rules.
✅ Encourages Adaptability – Children learn that life is flexible, and change is manageable.
Core Reminder for Parents:
“Parenting isn’t about preventing bad habits—it’s about responding to what works now and trusting your child’s growth process. When children feel supported, they naturally move toward independence in their own time.”
Connection Reset Digital Journal
A Guided Reflection for Parents in the Connection-Correction Parenting Course
Introduction
Parenting is a journey of continuous growth—for both you and your child. This journal is designed to help you apply the insights from the Connection-Correction Parenting Course, track your progress, and deepen your connection with your child. By reflecting on your daily experiences, emotional triggers, and parenting wins, you’ll create a foundation for resilience, emotional intelligence, and trust in your relationship.
Use this journal daily or weekly to document your thoughts and experiences. You are not striving for perfection—you are embracing growth.
Daily Reflection Template
Date:
1. What parenting challenge did I face today?
(Describe any difficult moments, whether it was managing a tantrum, navigating a power struggle, handling sibling conflict, or responding to defiance.)
2. How did I respond?
(Be honest—did you stay calm? Did you react out of frustration? What approach did you use?)
3. What emotions did I feel in that moment?
☐ Frustration
☐ Anxiety
☐ Guilt
☐ Helplessness
☐ Anger
☐ Fear
☐ Shame
☐ Sadness
☐ Calm
☐ Confidence
☐ Gratitude
☐ Other: __________
4. Did this challenge connect to my own childhood experiences?
(Reflect on whether this situation triggered memories or patterns from your upbringing.)
5. What did I do well today?
(Did you pause before reacting? Did you practice active listening? Did you model emotional regulation?)
6. How did my child respond?
(Did you pause before reacting? Did you practice active listening? Did you model emotional regulation?)
7. What is one small change I can try next time?
(Think of a phrase, action, or mindset shift you want to implement tomorrow.)
8. Did I have a meaningful moment of connection with my child today?
☐ Yes, during _________ (e.g., bedtime, playtime, a meal).
☐ No, but I will create one tomorrow by __________ (e.g., putting my phone away during conversations, reading together, asking about their feelings).
Weekly Reflection: Recognizing Growth
1. What progress have I noticed in my child’s behavior or emotional regulation this week?
(Smaller tantrums? More cooperation? More open conversations? Increased independence?)
2. What progress have I noticed in my own parenting?
(Have you been more patient, consistent, or intentional in your responses?)
3. What moments of repair and reconnection stood out?
(Think of a time when you resolved conflict with understanding rather than control.)
4. What was my biggest parenting challenge this week, and how did I handle it?
(Were you able to apply course strategies? If not, what can you adjust?)
5. Which parenting approach from the Connection-Correction Parenting Course helped me the most this week?
☐ Self-awareness of my parenting heritage
☐ Using natural consequences instead of punishments
☐ Teaching my child to express emotions with words
☐ Responding to behavior as communication
☐ Practicing mindful listening and connection
☐ Managing my inner critic to set a positive example
☐ Fostering independence with healthy boundaries
☐ Other: ___________
6. What is my parenting goal for the upcoming week?
(Examples: “Stay calm during meltdowns,” “Let my child solve more problems on their own,” “Model self-compassion when I make mistakes.”)
Breakthrough Moments
(Use this section whenever you experience a significant realization, shift, or parenting win.)
• What happened?
• What did I learn?
• How will I apply this going forward?
Reset and Self-Care Check-In
(Parenting is emotionally demanding. Take a moment to check in with yourself.)
1. How am I feeling about parenting right now?
☐ Overwhelmed
☐ Confident
☐ Tired
☐ Hopeful
☐ Frustrated
☐ Inspired
☐ Supported
☐ Other: _______
2. Have I taken care of my own emotional needs this week?
☐ Yes, I made time for myself by ___________ (e.g., reading, exercising, journaling, talking to a friend).
☐ No, I need to make space for self-care by ___________.
3. What is one thing I can do to recharge as a parent?
(Examples: Take a break, practice breathwork, remind myself that I don’t have to be perfect.)
Final Thoughts
Parenting is not about being flawless—it’s about showing up, staying curious, and continuously learning. Every time you reflect, adjust, and repair, you are strengthening your connection with your child.
This journal is your space to document growth, setbacks, and victories. Keep going, keep reflecting, and trust that even the smallest changes are shaping your child’s future in meaningful ways.
You are building a relationship that will last a lifetime.