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Stories Told and Stories lived- Cultural and Generational influences to parenting. Parents and Teamwork
1. Reflection on Family Dynamics
• How do you define the term “naughty”? Write down your thoughts on how this word applies to your child and whether you think their behavior indicates curiosity, attention-seeking, or family dynamics.
• Parenting Scripts and Generational Beliefs
Reflect on how you were parented. What beliefs or practices from your childhood are influencing your parenting today? Consider how both your and your partner’s past may shape your family’s dynamic.
2. Roles Your Child(ren) Play
Children often adopt roles to manage family stress. Consider which of the following roles your child may exhibit. (You can choose more than one and elaborate.)
• Overachiever (e.g., prioritizes making others happy)
• Clown (uses humor to diffuse tension)
• Underachiever (may internalize stress, appear disengaged)
• Protector (acts out to restore family harmony)
Describe any patterns you’ve noticed in your child’s behavior:
3. Parental Communication: Self-Assessment
Evaluate how well you and your partner communicate using the following scale:
Discussion Points:
• Which areas need improvement?
• What are your strengths as co-parents?
4. Creating an Action Plan
Weekly Goal Setting (For the Next 4 Weeks):
• Week 1: Set a joint goal for improving communication.
What is one small step both parents can take to improve communication (e.g., a regular check-in at the end of the day)? Progress Tracking:
Did you achieve this goal?
[ ] Yes
[ ] No
What worked/what didn’t?
• Week 2: Work on presenting a unified approach.
Identify a moment when you and your partner showed unity in front of your child, especially
during a disciplinary moment.
Describe the incident:
How did your child respond?
• Week 3: Reflect on your child’s role in the family.
Have you noticed any changes in your child’s behavior? Are they stepping out of old roles
(overachiever, clown, etc.)?
Reflection:
What do you think has contributed to these changes?
• Week 4: Continue Building Communication Habits.
Set up a family meeting or time to check in with each other regularly.
How did the family meeting go?
5. Quantitative Progress Tracking
Use the following chart to measure changes in behavior over time. Rate the child’s behavior,
parent communication, and overall family harmony weekly (scale of 1–5).
6. Reflecting on Progress
At the end of 4 weeks, review your scores. How has your child’s behavior evolved? Have you and your partner improved communication?
• What were the most significant changes?
• What challenges remain?
• What is your next focus as a family?
This worksheet is designed to encourage self-awareness, track progress, and prompt action. By reflecting on the course’s teachings and monitoring family dynamics, parents can better understand their roles and develop stronger communication strategies.
Behavioural Breakthrough Script:
(Adapted for different age groups: Pre-School, Middle Childhood, Puberty, and Adolescence)
1. Pre-School (Ages 2-5): Establishing Structure and Consistency Through Connection
Common Challenges:
• Parents struggle with setting boundaries while managing tantrums and defiance.
• Children test limits, needing clarity on expectations.
• Parents unintentionally send mixed messages by giving in to demands or being inconsistent.
What to Say & How to Say It:
Understanding Parental Struggles
• “It’s okay to feel frustrated when your child pushes limits—that’s normal. The key is staying consistent.”
• “If we say no, we need to mean it. Giving in now makes it harder later.”
The Role of Consistency in Parenting
• “Hitting is not okay. I will always stop you when you do that.”
• “I know you’re upset, but bedtime is still bedtime.”
(Children thrive on predictable boundaries—they need clear, calm leadership.)
Actions Have Consequences
• “If you throw your toy, we put it away. We can try again later.”
• “If you sit nicely at dinner, you can pick a story after.”
Time-Out as an Effective Strategy
• “You need a calm moment because you hit your brother. I will set the timer, and then we’ll talk.”
• (Stay neutral—timeouts are not punishments but chances to reset.)
Family Meals and Structure
• “Mealtime means sitting together. Let’s talk about our favorite part of today!”
(Pre-schoolers need structure and boundaries delivered with warmth and consistency.)
2. Middle Childhood (Ages 6-11): Encouraging Responsibility, Teamwork, and Self-Regulation
Common Challenges:
• Children start resisting rules and negotiating for exceptions.
• Parents struggle to enforce consequences without power struggles.
• Inconsistent discipline leads to confusion and testing of limits.
What to Say & How to Say It:
The Role of Consistency in Parenting
• “I understand you don’t like this rule, but we follow through on what we say.”
• “If you don’t finish homework, that means no tablet time today. That’s the rule.”
Teamwork Between Parents
• “Mum and I agree that bedtime is 8:00. It’s not up for discussion.”
• (Avoid good cop/bad cop dynamics—present a united front.)
Actions Have Consequences
• “You forgot your homework, so you’ll have to explain it to your teacher. That’s part of growing up.”
• “I noticed you helped your sister today. That’s what being a good family member looks like!”
Time-Out as an Effective Strategy
• “I see you’re getting really angry. Let’s take a break and come back when we can talk calmly.”
Family Meals and Structure
• “Dinner is a time for us to connect, not for screens. Let’s focus on each other.”
(Children in this stage need consistency, clear expectations, and the chance to take responsibility for their choices.)
3. Puberty (Ages 12-14): Navigating Independence While Maintaining Boundaries
Common Challenges:
• Children start questioning authority and testing independence.
• Parents struggle to balance rules with respect for growing autonomy.
• Disagreements between parenting styles can create division.
What to Say & How to Say It:
The Role of Consistency in Parenting
• “We’re open to discussions, but our family has certain expectations that don’t change.”
• “If we let the rules slide now, it sends the message that they don’t really matter.”
Teamwork Between Parents
• “Dad and I agreed on this curfew. It’s not about punishment—it’s about responsibility.”
• (Parents need to communicate privately before making joint decisions.)
Actions Have Consequences
• “You broke the house rules, so you lost phone privileges for today. Actions have consequences.”
• “You showed maturity by handling that situation well. That’s what builds trust.”
Overcoming Communication Barriers
• “I don’t expect you to always agree, but I do expect respectful conversations.”
• “Let’s talk about what works for both of us instead of arguing.”
(Preteens need structured freedom—firm boundaries but the chance to negotiate within them.)
4. Adolescence (Ages 15-18): Strengthening Trust and Preparing for Adulthood
Common Challenges:
• Teens challenge rules and expect more autonomy.
• Parents struggle to maintain authority without being controlling.
• Family communication can break down if mutual respect is not established.
What to Say & How to Say It:
The Role of Consistency in Parenting
• “I’m open to your input, but there are still non-negotiables in this house.”
• “Respect is a two-way street. If you want more freedom, show responsibility.”
Teamwork Between Parents
• “We are on the same page about expectations. No, playing us against each other won’t work.”
• (Teens quickly notice inconsistencies—parents must communicate effectively.)
Actions Have Consequences
• “If you break trust, we rebuild it by showing responsibility—not just apologizing.”
• “You handled that situation maturely. That’s why I’m comfortable giving you more independence.”
Overcoming Communication Barriers
• “I want to understand your perspective. Let’s talk without yelling.”
• “I respect your independence, but my role as a parent is to set you up for success.”
(Teenagers need structured autonomy—clear expectations with flexibility based on trust and maturity.)
The 11 Commandments of Parenting (Applied Across All Ages)
1. Be consistent. (Children feel safest when rules are predictable.)
2. Enforce consequences. (Follow through calmly and fairly.)
3. Say what you mean and mean what you say. (Avoid empty threats.)
4. Work as a team. (Parents must be on the same page.)
5. Avoid making promises you can’t keep. (This damages trust.)
6. Listen to your children. (Acknowledge their feelings, even if you can’t change the outcome.)
7. Establish a routine. (Predictability provides security.)
8. Show mutual respect. (Children learn respect by experiencing it.)
9. Use positive reinforcement. (Catch them doing something right.)
10. Teach universal manners. (Respect and courtesy start at home.)
11. Prepare them for adulthood. (Teach responsibility, not just obedience.)
Why This Works Across All Ages:
✅ Encourages Responsibility – Teaches children to own their actions.
✅ Builds Emotional Security – Consistency reduces anxiety.
✅ Strengthens Parent-Child Relationships – Clear communication prevents power struggles.
✅ Prepares for Adulthood – Fosters independence with accountability.
Core Reminder for Parents:
Parenting requires effort, communication, and teamwork. By aligning approaches, setting clear expectations, and fostering mutual respect, families can move from chaos to connection.”
Connection Reset Digital Journal
A Guided Reflection for Parents in the Connection-Correction Parenting Course
Introduction
Parenting is a journey of continuous growth—for both you and your child. This journal is designed to help you apply the insights from the Connection-Correction Parenting Course, track your progress, and deepen your connection with your child. By reflecting on your daily experiences, emotional triggers, and parenting wins, you’ll create a foundation for resilience, emotional intelligence, and trust in your relationship.
Use this journal daily or weekly to document your thoughts and experiences. You are not striving for perfection—you are embracing growth.
Daily Reflection Template
Date:
1. What parenting challenge did I face today?
(Describe any difficult moments, whether it was managing a tantrum, navigating a power struggle, handling sibling conflict, or responding to defiance.)
2. How did I respond?
(Be honest—did you stay calm? Did you react out of frustration? What approach did you use?)
3. What emotions did I feel in that moment?
☐ Frustration
☐ Anxiety
☐ Guilt
☐ Helplessness
☐ Anger
☐ Fear
☐ Shame
☐ Sadness
☐ Calm
☐ Confidence
☐ Gratitude
☐ Other: __________
4. Did this challenge connect to my own childhood experiences?
(Reflect on whether this situation triggered memories or patterns from your upbringing.)
5. What did I do well today?
(Did you pause before reacting? Did you practice active listening? Did you model emotional regulation?)
6. How did my child respond?
(Did you pause before reacting? Did you practice active listening? Did you model emotional regulation?)
7. What is one small change I can try next time?
(Think of a phrase, action, or mindset shift you want to implement tomorrow.)
8. Did I have a meaningful moment of connection with my child today?
☐ Yes, during _________ (e.g., bedtime, playtime, a meal).
☐ No, but I will create one tomorrow by __________ (e.g., putting my phone away during conversations, reading together, asking about their feelings).
Weekly Reflection: Recognizing Growth
1. What progress have I noticed in my child’s behavior or emotional regulation this week?
(Smaller tantrums? More cooperation? More open conversations? Increased independence?)
2. What progress have I noticed in my own parenting?
3. What moments of repair and reconnection stood out?
(Think of a time when you resolved conflict with understanding rather than control.)
4. What was my biggest parenting challenge this week, and how did I handle it?
(Were you able to apply course strategies? If not, what can you adjust?)
5. Which parenting approach from the Connection-Correction Parenting Course helped me the most this week?
☐ Self-awareness of my parenting heritage
☐ Using natural consequences instead of punishments
☐ Teaching my child to express emotions with words
☐ Responding to behavior as communication
☐ Practicing mindful listening and connection
☐ Managing my inner critic to set a positive example
☐ Fostering independence with healthy boundaries
☐ Other: ___________
6. What is my parenting goal for the upcoming week?
(Examples: “Stay calm during meltdowns,” “Let my child solve more problems on their own,” “Model self-compassion when I make mistakes.”)
Breakthrough Moments
(Use this section whenever you experience a significant realization, shift, or parenting win.)
• What happened?
• What did I learn?
• How will I apply this going forward?
Reset and Self-Care Check-In
(Parenting is emotionally demanding. Take a moment to check in with yourself.)
1. How am I feeling about parenting right now?
☐ Overwhelmed
☐ Confident
☐ Tired
☐ Hopeful
☐ Frustrated
☐ Inspired
☐ Supported
☐ Other: _______
2. Have I taken care of my own emotional needs this week?
☐ Yes, I made time for myself by ___________ (e.g., reading, exercising, journaling, talking to a friend).
☐ No, I need to make space for self-care by ___________.
3. What is one thing I can do to recharge as a parent?
(Examples: Take a break, practice breathwork, remind myself that I don’t have to be perfect.)
Final Thoughts
Parenting is not about being flawless—it’s about showing up, staying curious, and continuously learning. Every time you reflect, adjust, and repair, you are strengthening your connection with your child.
This journal is your space to document growth, setbacks, and victories. Keep going, keep reflecting, and trust that even the smallest changes are shaping your child’s future in meaningful ways.
You are building a relationship that will last a lifetime.